Nude faith Shameless God

What is man's oldest religion and who was man's first God???? What is man's fundamental faith and who is the ultimate????? Should I believe in Him or should I not???
I dont really know and I frankly give a 'god' damn about it. The God all men have a universal nude faith in is 'Greed'. If he is the force that drives the world, if he brings about evolution, if hez the 'fittest survives' rulemaker, if he is omnipresent then you suggest me a better name for Him than GREED. Is greed excessive or reprehensible or plain indispensible?? Is he good or bad??
The want for food, money, power, fame, sex, love, knowledge or the want to want anything else is man's prayer to this very God. As a kid I was taught God is good, God is right and God is just. Well, greed is good, he gives me a goal, an ambition, a hope, some motivation and lots of strength; greed is right because he questions, corrects and verifies; greed is just, race no bar, sex no bar, nationality no bar, time no bar.....
If he is just, he is good and he is right then why the hell is this world hellish???Because he is also so shamelessy narcissistic, he worships himself, he is greedy. He wants everybody to follow him and pitches you against me, her against him and us against them. My greed crosses your greed, I hurt you, I suppress you, I torture you, I kill you. Maybe he is not God after all.... maybe one day I wont want him..... maybe one day I will stop listening to him.... maybe one day I will loose faith in him..... maybe one day I will find God.....

fornlonly hopeful

Today is a long night, every soul i knew slept and their slumber is kind of peacefully irritating. No, I am not in any big strife and my life is pretty striaghtforward by worldly standards. But I am in a zone, a zone every other living soul goes into numerous times and never stops and thinks about it- solitude. It is the old refection time again, what am I doing here? why am I doing this? where do I find a bigger gain in all this? I am sure the questions are the same for everybody, the 'this' and 'here' being subject to change. Philosophy suddenly becomes so interesting and all the more relevant, psychedelia seems erotica and hope becomes a dangerous thing. I feel down for no reason whatsoever. I know tommorow is going to be a better day, I know I am going to sleep in a few minutes, I know nothing is wrong in my part of the world, I know I am safe as a house..... but still the pangs of solitude are bothering me. I have friends, good friends, close friends, best friends but why am I going through this. The human brain is naturally programmed to initiate a thought process like this, to remind me that all said and done I am always alone and always moving on. Moms, dads, sises, bros, friends, uncles, aunts, grandmas, grandpas,girlfriends, wives, kids, bosses, teachers, professors are all there to make me realize solitude is tough, its boring and its killing. But if I get used to this solitude, start liking this solitude, start thriving in this solitude then this solitude is power. It will give me strength and it will give me a hope, the very hope which looked dangerous in the first place. Solitude can hold u captive and solitude can alone let u free...........